Blog of Choyce

終於可以放鬆一下. 即興地和菁一同吃飯, 逛街. 漫無目的地逛商店.

我向來是一個每次購物都有目的的人. 即是還沒有購物以先, 就必定要先有目標是要買甚麼. 幾年前, 有次和C一同買東西, 她十分驚訝於, 我能在二十分鐘內選購一對鞋一條裙. 我每次購物, 正常情況下都不會超越半小時, 必定能在極短時間內狩獵到我想要的東西.

但和女孩子一起度過時間, 就不能用這種模式進行. 對女孩子來說, 兩個或多個人一起逛街, 可以是一個建立關係, 溝通的過程. 或許應當說, 女孩子只要粘在一起, 無論在幹甚麼, 目的都是為了建立關係, 溝通和了解. 這就是所謂的Quality time. 逛街購物的過程, 能了解對方的價值觀, 審美的眼光, 個人喜好等. 而且試身的過程還是讚美對方的一個機會. 從前我不懂這個道理, 後來人成長了, 慢慢明白多些.

還開始懂得為自己製造多些逛街購物的理由. 例如為了製造多些逛首飾店時的話題, 特地打了耳洞. 對了, 我內裏還沒有變啊, 仍是做甚麼都要有理由的. 有次與K談到這個, 她很不屑地說: “貪靚就是貪靚, 還用那麼多理由粉飾幹麼?” 我只有向著她傻笑的份兒.

放慢自己處事的步調, 學習與人協調, 很寶貴的一課.

Finally I got a chance to relax. I had dinner with F and we went window shopping.

I was a target-oriented shopper. I always got a target before I went to shop. Once upon a time I shopped with C and she was surprised that I chose and bought one pair of shoes and one skirt in twenty minutes. I never spent more than half of an hour every time I shopped. I can hunt what I want to get for a short time.

However, when it comes that I am to spend time with girls, I can’t apply my hunting mode anymore. That’s a matter of building relationship, not just for shopping. That’s so-called Quality time. We can know each other more while shopping. I can know one’s values, aesthetic, what she like. That’s a precious time to express appreciation when girls put on some clothes and trying. I didn’t know these but I understand more now.

I started to create more reasons for myself to go window shopping. I had my earlobe pierced in order to start more topics when I go to window shopping at jewelry stores with girls. I am still reason-oriented and my mind is not changed! I talked with K about this and she said that’s I care about my appearance and she saw me.

Release my steps and learn how to synchronize with others. That’s an important lesson.

透過興趣班, 得益最大的是我, 學到最多的也是我.

回想起一年前, 第一次戰戰競競地教餅. 狼狽不堪的情況屢見不鮮, 但有安琪在, 有小蜜蜂在, 所以總算勉強捱過, 也吸收了寶貴的經驗.

第二次教餅, 是在第一次的經驗下成長, 順利多了. 仍舊很大壓力, 整天都計著算著還有甚麼沒有預備好的? 加上在失戀的陰影下, 每一課都感到心裏在痛在淌血在掙扎. 那種心情是可怕得沒有勇氣去重溫的. 到了現在, 都驚訝那時的自己沒有放棄. 我知道, 有人參加, 有人協助, 這樣支持我走下去, 就是一種鼓勵.

第三次, 是新口岸堂的親子班. 體驗在一個新的環境, 以新的形式去嚐試. 體會到的是周圍的人的關心, 和神的預備. 我也在這過程觸摸到神的心. 神就是要我經歷一切好或不好的事, 而成為別人的益處.

這次是第四次興趣班, 神讓我用肉眼看到, 同一個神蹟, 是可以用完全不同的形式做到的. 這次是真的感到比前幾期的課程輕鬆, 因為第一是有經驗, 二是教的大多是教過的餅, 三是我體驗了怎樣對神有信心, 即使仍舊有波折, 心卻定很多了. 陰影也完全消失了. 我品嚐到幸福的甜味. 沒有愛情, 都一樣可以有的甜味.

我仍是稚嫩的我, 但卻經歷了神一步一步的帶領.

為了給自己多些挑戰和磨練, 加上暑期總堂資源緊拙, 我每年暑假都給自己挑戰, 嚐試到不同的地方任教, 藉此開拓視野, 多接觸認識不同的人, 學習與不同的人合作, 多了解別人的想法和做事方式.

08年暑假, 在潮州堂, 神又會讓我經歷甚麼呢?

I’m the one who benefited and learned the most in cake course.

I remembered how I started to teach making cakes one year before. That’s so embarrassed. However, I got Judy and little bee so I crossed the days and I experience was gained.

It’s more straight in the next time I taught cake course after I grew in experiences. There was pressure and I always worried about if there was anything I had not prepared well enough. Moreover, I was in the shade of disappointment in love. My heart was painful, bleeding and struggling during every class. That was a mood that I’m not brave enough to review. I’m surprised that I didn’t give up. I experienced encouragement as there were still people joined and supported.

I taught parent with children course in Xin Kou An sub-church. I tried in a new environment and new formula. I experienced care form people and God’s preparation. I touched God’s heart. God want me benefit people after those good and bad matters.

That was my fourth course and I saw a miracle in another format. I felt relaxed during the course. That’s because I got experience and the cakes I taught were not the first time taught. I experienced what’s faith to God. I felt relaxed though problems still existed. The shade on my heart was disappeared. I tasted sweet of happiness, sweet without tender passion.

I’m still the young me, but I experienced God’s leading step by step.

I challenge myself to teach at different places every summer as I want to give myself more challenge and the resource of main church are always tight during summers. I want to open my eyes and touch with more different people. I want to learn how to understand and cooperate with different people.

What do God want me to learn in the next summer?

今日收工後想截的士到教會, 因為要趕著教最後一課的興趣班.

等了好一會, 都沒有車, 電召又沒有. 好不容易有一架的士在我們面前停下, 但司機問了我們去哪裏後, 就拒絕了接載我們.

無奈地繼續等車, 又見到有別人截住了剛才那車. 後來有個人走來問我們剛才截車的情況, 原來那是民署的人, 要檢舉拒載的司機. 我從前都沒聽過民署這樣做的, 差點兒以為是騙徒或電視台的遊戲節目.

最後勉強趕到. 遲了一點點. 還好今天教的餅, 要準備的不太多. 總算在預算時間內完成. 終於完成了這一期的課程了!

下一期08年暑假會到潮州堂任教. 到時應該可以駕車, 不用再看那些不中用的司機的臉色了.

We wanted to take a taxi to the church for the last class of the cake course.

There was not any taxi after we waited for a long time. A taxi stopped by our side. However, the driver refused to pick up us after we told where we was going to.

We continued to wait for other taxi. We saw others took that taxi. A man came and asked about the situation when we asked the taxi driver. They were from IACM and were trying to check about taxi refusing cases. I’ve never heard about that! I thought they would be deceiving or that’s a kidding of TV program.

I caught up the course. Fortunately I needn’t prepare too many for today’s course. We completed in expected time. The course is finished!

I’ll go to Chao Zhou sub-church to teach in next summer. I can drive since then and I needn’t be afraid of the faces of incapable drivers anymore.

昨晚用三小時, 兩個熱餅模, 一個焗爐, 連續焗了七個海綿蛋糕, 以給明晚上課的學生使用. 完成了以後是感到終於完成了, 今天晚上再焗兩個就大功告成, 我離開”安息”又前進了一大步.

原來聽到別人一聲”喜歡我”, 還是很開心的.
儘管對方是女的.

I heard one said “I like you” to me. I feel very happy.
Although she’s a girl.

心血來潮, 突然想翻看這套從前看過的舊碟. 那種尋尋覓覓兜兜轉轉的孤獨感比上一次看時更感受得深.

“我愛的人離我很遠”
“我關心的人離我很遠”

究竟尋找的是我愛的人, 還是愛我的人?

究竟我最愛的, 是否只是我自己?

我最擔心的, 是我無法成為懂得愛人的人.

我仍是太幼嫩了.

很眼訓. 還是去找周公好了.

I watched this film again as I suddenly want to. I get the sense of alone deeper than last time from this movie.

“People I love leave me so far.”
“People I care leave me so far.”

I wonder. Whom I search for is the one I love or the one loves me?

I wonder. Is that I love myself the most?

I am afraid of I don’t know how to love.

I’m still too young.

I’m sleepy. I better meet Mr. Chow.

終於完成了廣西之旅分享會, 希望不至於太悶(因為我實在太清楚我這個人實在令人感到很悶)

還有這星期最後一課興趣班, 做完了我就可以安息了! 要約食飯的人實在太多, 還沒有約, 希望現在能好好安排.

兩項大工程重疊在一起實在有點吃不消.

好眼訓, 呵~~~欠~~~

Finally I finished the Guang Xi agape tour sharing program. I wish it’s not too boring (as I do know that I’m such a boring person)

I will finish my cake course after the last lesson in next week and I can have a rest soon! I always want to have dinner with some people but there was not enough time. I hope that I can do this later.

That’s not easy to have these two big projects jammed together.

I’m sleepy. Zzzzzzz…

湖南愛心之旅開會, 請幾個我和另外兩位廣西愛心之旅的同伴去分享, 我講完去視察的項目, 牧師叫我分享我在廣西之旅中是負責甚麼崗位, 我張口結舌了好一會, 才能勉強講出自己是做文書和攝影的工作. 事實是有很多雜七雜八又風馬牛不相及的事情都同時在做, 但一一數出來又怕太嚇人了.

昨晚興趣班教課完畢後, 嘉麗找我協助她把攝錄機的檔案轉格式, 她說問了很多人都還是解決不了問題. 噢! 我居然technical consultant也要擔當! 由於嘉麗的部分較重要和花時間, 我本打算昨晚教課後準備分享會的東西, 也要暫時擱置了.

There was a sharing program of Huh Nam Agape tour. I went to the event with my partners of Guang Xi Agape tour. I introduced projects our Guang Xi trip. Pastor asked me to tell them my position in Guang Xi trip. I hardly told them that I was a secretary and photographer. In fact I took part in many different positions and that’s impossible for me to talk about the full picture.

I picked a call from Step after my cake class. She asked me to transform the files of the video camera. I even have to be a technical consultant! I have to left my works about the sharing program aside and do this for her.

11月5日 早上
Morning of 5th-Nov

百色田林縣紅旗小學
Bai Se, Tian Lin, Hong Qi Primary School

紅旗小學始建於2000年, 現有學生302人, 老師18人.
Hong Qi Primary School started in 2000. There are 302 students and 18 teachers now.

原宿舍為茅舍式. 現時新宿舍每房住約十多人, 每床睡兩至三人. 老師每房住宿3-4人.
The original dorm was cottages thatched with straw. There are more then ten persons in each room of their new dorm. 2 or 3 persons each bed. 3 or 4 teachers in each room.

學生日常飲食: 學生需自行從家帶米來校, 由老師替他們放在鍋中蒸, 菜由老師煮, 每人每餐5毛錢. 採訪當天的菜是豆腐.
Students bring their own uncooked rice to school. Teachers steam rice for them. Every student pays 50 cents each meal for the course served. The course at that day was Tofu.

此地區有4個村, 17屯, 附近地區還有3間寄宿學校.
There are 4 villages, 17 tuns and 3 schools with dorm.

(採訪資料: 旋紅, 永恆)

新宿舍樓落成竣工典禮 ceremony of new dorm

新宿舍樓外貌 appearances of new dorm

新宿舍內部 interior of new dorm

孩童 children

孩童與代表團 children and delegation

道別 good bye

我們一行十九人於11月4日早上在廣州的機場登上飛機前往廣西.
We took off from Guang Zhou to Guang Xi on 4th of Nov.

到達後, 前往百色市, 中途吃午飯.
We went to Bai Se after we arrived. Lunched during the long bus trip.

路途遙遠, 頭一天只能是在車上睡, 睡醒了就吃, 吃完又再睡.
The path is long and we always slept on the tour bus, woke and ate and then slept again.

從車望出窗外的黃昏景色 sight of view from tour car

晚上在百色市隨近的郊區晚飯. Dinner at Bai Se.

晚飯地點的景色 sight of view at dining place