又是興趣班的開始. 這幾天正在準備一切道具材料等. 心情難免有點緊張, 生怕有甚麼遺漏.

準備的過程, 整理道具, 買東西, 一個個過去的回憶, 仍舊會在腦海中閃過.

每次興趣班, 總是無可避免地想起這些回憶.

有段時間, 為了控制自己的情緒, 每次回憶到某些接近的位置時, 就知道不可以再想下去, 以免再流眼淚. 我會開始唱歌, 分散自己的注意力. 秘訣就是不容許自己的回憶回到某幾個點.

現在再回想起那些片段, 沒有傷心的感覺. 我自己也不大明白, 從何時開始不再感到傷心. 我只知道, 我已經很久沒有再為這個人流淚, 很久沒有感受到起初那種心抽搐著的痛.

回憶仍在腦海中, 但我已經不是那個回憶中的我. 過往的傷心, 塑造成今天的我. 沒有這個經歷, 我只會更後悔.

還是繼續吃煮得熟綿綿的烏冬吧.

It’s opening of cake course. I’m preparing on these several days. I’m a little nervous, afraid of forgetting anything.

Those memories refresh in my brain every time while preparing course.

These was a certain period when I tried to cut my thought in order to make myself not to tear anymore. I would try to sing songs, try to scatter my attention from that. The key point is to keep myself from certain points of memories.

Nevertheless, I don’t feel sorrow for those memories recently. I’m not sure when did the sadness disappeared. I hardly remember my last tear and sorrow for him.

Memories are still in my brain but I’m not that person anymore. My past sadness build this me. I would be regret if I didn’t experience it.

I should go on eating my udon.

————

late autumn (the pancakes)

brown leaves fall onto the ground
every time you walk around
i pick them up on the way
i follow you by this trace

i do admit i’m not that strong
particularly when things go wrong
so if you hear me cry
could you come and take me fly

and the stars always shine
miss moon always stays high
sunny days happy days
are what we’re waiting for

and there in the sky
i still see the sun shining bright
every day every way
would you like to come and walk beside me

i closed my eyes to feel the breeze
but it got so strong and i froze
i shivered and i sneezed
i was bounced onto a tree

i made some friends there on the tree
my new life there is so free
one day when you pass by
would you like to have a try

though the stars sometimes hide
miss moon sometimes doesn’t smile
stormy days cloudy days
one day will say goodbye