在情緒最不好的短暫片刻, 我曾經追想一個逝去了的幻影.

往往在最危急的關頭, 會知道自己心底最渴望要見的是誰.

但我又絕對不可以見這個人.

在最傷心難過的時刻, 我不可以見他. 我知道我一旦見到他, 我就會崩潰. 只容許聽一聽到他的聲音, 讓我感受到點點安慰和鼓勵.

在靈堂, 他走近我. 但我不敢作出任何動作和反應. 他彷彿就是操控我情緒的一條筋. 我很怕自己會崩潰在媽媽面前. 我很害怕把自己感情暴露出來, 會使他陷入難堪裏.

有點兒後悔. 好歹也應當抱著他痛痛快快地哭一場吧! 但人生就是這樣無奈.

在情緒最不好的短暫片刻, 我曾經追想一個逝去了的幻影.

在最難以忍受的短暫片刻, 我違逆了我內心深處的渴望.

把自由還給他, 把自由還給自己, 這才是最好的.

At the hardest moment, I was thinking about a dead mirage.
When it’s the most critical time, I discovered who I want to see the most.

But I can’t see this person.
I know that. I can’t see him when it’s the saddest and hardest time. I will collapse if I see him. I can only listen to his voice, to feel comforted and encouraged.

In the funeral service, he approached me. I didn’t dare to take any reaction. He is just like a muscle controlling my emotions. I was afraid that I would collapse in front of mom. I was afraid that I would expose my feelings and make him in trouble.

I regret that I didn’t cry in his arms. I had no choice.

At the hardest moment, I was thinking about a dead mirage.

I went against my mind at the most unbearable moment.

Return freedom to him and to me. That’s the best for us.

都過去了. 一切都過去了. 就讓它過去了吧.

It’s gone. Everything has gone. Let go.