好得意, 通常係由見過下世面既長輩問, 表示慰問之餘又顯得大方實際, 原本唔係好熟, 關係唔係好接近既人都可以用這一句. 以前都唔知呢種情況可以講呢句野, 而家識喇.
2. “唔好唔開心啦", “唔好太傷心啦"
勁唔掂. 明知人傷心, 係唔係你講一句就可以唔傷心先?
呢幾句野對住d情緒好波動既人或者會有d提醒, 之但係我係感情比較含蓄既人, 其實聽到呢句會有反效果, 會更加收埋自己. 聽到"唔好唔開心啦"果句果陣時, 我直頭慶到爆囉, 但係我明白人地講呢句野係出於好意同埋關心自己, 唯有夾硬"骨"一聲吞左啖氣佢.
聽到呢句感覺係冇乜野, 又唔覺得佢講錯, 但又唔係好覺得受到安慰, 覺得唔妥但又講唔出有咩唔妥. 視乎講既人既語氣啦, 如果唔係好有誠意想關心人, 講呢句係會令人覺得冇感情, 行, 甚至好假.
4. “你點呀?", “而家覺得點呀?", “有咩感受可以同我講呢?"
聽到呢三句係最舒服, 會感受到對方關心, 俾我知道對方想聆聽我描述經過和表達自己的感受.
5. “心裏面有咩感受, 可以話我知, 唔洗收埋架!"
呢句係一個世上最了解我既人講既, 我會覺得自己既情緒可以被人接納. 好多謝佢既守望.
6. “有咩係我可以幫到你架?", “又會咁突然既?"
7. “我真係唔識得講野.", “我唔知應該講d乜野.", “想問你但係又唔敢問你.", “想問你但又唔知點開口."
睇落好似完全冇技巧, 但係我真係想講, 其實我聽到呢一句, 內心係非常之覺得受到安慰, 會覺得自己被關心, 被愛. 關心人最重要既唔係技巧, 而係一顆心. 仲有就係我好樂意人問我, 唔需要忌諱.
8. “……" (咩都唔講, 只係拍我背, 拍我膊頭, 或抱抱我.)
9. “……" (乜都唔提, 但陪住我, 同我傾計, 或幫我淋花, 或送野俾我)
I heard many comforting words recently. I would like to talk about the followings.
1. “Are all things finished?"
It’s funny. This question is always from elders or mature friends. It can show concerned in a generous and practical way. It’s good for who’s not very familiar with but still want to express concern. I didn’t know about this sentence but I learned this now.
2. “Don’t be unhappy!" “Don’t be too sad!"
Hey, why tell me not to be sad when you know that I’m sad?
Maybe that’s a good advice to emotional people, but not me. I’m kind of persons who always veiled myself. I’m afraid that I would become more self-veiled if I heard these.
When I heard “Don’t be unhappy!", I even got angry. However, I kept patience as I know that the one who said this is to comfort me.
3. “Restrain grief and accept the change!"
I can’t say there is anything wrong with these words, but I don’t feel comforted when I heard this. I think that’s quite related to one’s heart when one say this. If you can’t show your sincere when you say this, it would be better not to say.
4. “How are you?" “How do you feel?" “Would you tell me about your feelings?"
I feel relieved and comforted when I heard these. They let me know that they would like to hear me to describe the matter and express my feelings.
5. “You can just tell me your feeling in your deep heart. You needn’t hide."
This was said by a person who understand me very well. I felt my emotion is accepted. Thanks for her watching.
6. “Is there anything I can do for you?" “It’s so sudden!"
practical and comforting.
7. “I really don’t know how to say." “I don’t know what I should say." “I would like to ask but I’m afraid" “I would like to ask but I don’t know how to"
It seems awkward, but I really want to say that I feel very comforted, cared, and loved. caring is not depended on techniques but heart. I would like people ask me in active and it’s not necessary to avoid.
8. “……" (Nothing to say, just pat on my back or shoulders, or hug me)
Very good! That will not say anything make me feel hurt but make me feel cared.
9. “……" (Nothing to say, but spend time with me, have a talk with me, watering my plants, or giving me a gift)
Welcome all of you go on caring!